Aug
The TV commercial might go a little something like this:
“Alcohol is not safe for everyone. Do not drive or operate heavy machinery when using Alcohol. Alcohol causes overconfidence leading to embarrassing social situations, flushed facial skin, short attention span, sleepiness, amnesia, partial and/or total loss of judgment, blurred vision, unwanted pregnancies due to loss of judgment or blurred vision, difficulty walking, difficulty maintaining proper speech volume, broken beer glasses, broken glasses, broken furniture, broken windows and broken hearts, insane hangovers, cuts on your skin you can’t explain, vomiting, inability to find the toilet or other proper location just prior to vomiting, gain and/or loss of a significant other, temporary loss of bladder function, permanent loss of your job, coma and death. Millions of deaths have been attributed to the use of Alcohol. Talk to your bartender to see if Alcohol is right for you.”
